I want to put Florida on the map. Never mind that it’s already on the map. I want to put it there, because I always put things back where I find them. And I found Florida. I just wasn’t the first.

I want to take over a country and rename it Horse. Then I’ll put Horse on the map, because I want to remind people that sometimes you can put the cartographer before the horse.

I want to remind people that there is no free lunch, if three are no people offering to pick up the tab.

I don’t want a free lunch, and I don’t want to pay for lunch. I do, however, want you to pay me to eat lunch.

I want to know the hour of my death. My guess is somewhere between 1:00 and 12:00.

I want to find the men responsible for our current economic woes and say, “Now that we know who is responsible, it is clear that future economic decisions of epic proportions should be left in the hands of the irresponsible.”

I want a rooster clock. Not only do they make excellent alarm clocks, but you can also eat them for breakfast.

I want something that will not only wake me up in the morning, but can also feed me. A rooster would make for both an excellent alarm clock, and a delicious breakfast.

I want to believe that the grass is always greener on the other side, because that’s where all the manure is.